3-26-26
Vision: Being that births a time bomb with a stem on it,
WOODROW WILSON! 12:48am,
A LITTLE GIRL!
SOMETHING’S WRONG!
A VETERINARIAN ACCIDENT!
WASHROOM, WASH YOUR HAIR!
ADAM STEMPLE HAIRCUT!
I’M GOING TO START MESSING WITH YOUR CHILDREN THIS WEEK!
NINETY NINE MOUNTAINS HIGH!
ANOTHER BREAK YOUR NOSE ALLEY!
I CHALLENGE YOUR ARMY! 12:52am,
DEAD IN A BOX!
Vision: Pair of hockey players skating backwards as a team,
MAKE SURE I BURN YOU IN HELL,
SAID THE LORD JESUS CHRIST! 2:10am,
THUS SAITH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST! A MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE IS COMING TO WASHINGTON DC! MANY, MANY, MANY THOUSANDS DEAD! THE ENTIRE TOWN GONE! PIZZA! I’MA MIX BLOOD AND GUTS TOGETHER! 1.5 MILLION DEAD, AND THAT’S A MINIMUM! IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD TO LIE! PROPHESIED 3/26/26 9:30 AM!
3/26/26 9:23:30 AM I HAD A VISION! YOU SAID, AARON, ARE YOU THERE? I SAID, YEAH! AND HE TOLD ME, YOU SAID IT’S BEEN A MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
PANIC!
ENDING
THE ENTIRE TOWN GONE!
FULL JAPANESE HIROSHIMA!3/26/26 10:01:47 AM
INSTINCT!
PIZZA! I’MA MIX BLOOD AND GUTS TOGETHER!
15 MILLION DEAD! THAT’S A MINIMUM!10:09 AM
VISION, I HEARD SOMEBODY SAY, “SCARE ME TO DEATH!”
I SEE A VISION OF SOME MACARONI AND CHEESE PACKED IN TIGHT!
NO HIT OR MISS!
YOU’RE HEADED RIGHT TOWARDS THE GARBAGE! 10:19 AM
ENGULFMENT!A STRANGULATION!
MEDIA, MEDIA HYPE!
GRILL NUMBER 1
VISION, I SEE SOME PEGUINS HIGH UP IN A BLUE SKY WITH CLOUDS FLAPPING THEIR WINGS.
VISION: GIANT TEARDROP DROPPING FROM THE TOP OF A GIANT BUILDING,
I’MA PULL THE ROOF OFF CONGRESS!
A STATISTICIAN’S NIGHTMARE!
A ROPE-A-DOPE SCREAM!
MASHED POTATO HEAD!
A POLTERGEIST MOMENT!
A SHH TZU KNIFE AND SCREAM!
A GUN-PACKED BATTERING RAM!
I’M COMING FROM FAR, FAR AWAY!
A BLESSED DEAF-TONED ARMY!
HICCUP BLOOD AND JESUIT BLOOD! 2:38PM,
THE PALE HORSE RIDER RIDES AGAIN!
A MYSTERIOUS ILLNESS WILL BEFALL YOU ALL!
PUNCH YOUR LIGHTS OUT!
AARON’S GOT FACTS JUST LIKE YOU!
I’M GOING TO SET YOU IN THE CHAIR LIKE STAR TREK’S TURNPIKE!
WAKE UP SWEET SUSIE, IT’S GONNA BE WORSE THAN CANCER!
A BISHOP PATE ENTERPRISE, ANGRY AS HELL!
I CHARGE YOU WITH TRYING TO KILL GOD!
AND HAVE YOUR EMISSARIES DO IT!
A SOLDIER OF FORTUNE!
I’M GOING TO JACK YOU UP WITH FEVER!
A NAUGHTY BY NATURE HAMLET!
I’M GOING TO TURN YOU INTO HAMBURGER, GRIND YOUR SKIN INSIDE OUT!
I’M GOING TO DO THE SAME TO YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS!
A SCREAM-FEST ALL NIGHT LONG!
I’MA BREAK THE HOLIDAY CYCLE! 2:42PM,
VISION: ROW OF FOAM CUPS STACKED SIDEWAYS, THEN THEY JUST FALL OVER, SOME OF THEM SEPARATE,
A NICKEL-PLATED SYNDROME!
I’M GOING TO KILL YOUR SWAT TEAMS WITH THE SAME DISEASE!
A FORTNITE AND A PRAYER!
I’MA TEST HOW THICK YOUR SKIN IS! 2:43PM,
